Stoicism

I first came across stoicism in an intro to philosophy class i took at the community college I attended after high school. Even then, I thought it was an appealing philosophy, though it didn't really turn into something I actively worked to integrate until about a decade later or so. I remember reading Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday, which then sent me down a deep, deep rabbit hole.

Although ancient Stoics created intricate cause-and-effect metaphysics to basically create a unified theory of life, existence, and the pursuit of happiness, it is an eminently practical philosophy, and as modern Stoics, we can simply focus on the insights into flourishing they have.

Every human being desires to flourish. Not just passing pleasure, but a life of meaning and well-being. Most of the things we pursue to achieve flourishing are fleeting and beyond our control. Wealth, success, who likes us, and so on– all things we can influence, but not something we can control.

In fact, the only things truly up to us are our judgment, values, responses, and character. Everything else, to varying degrees, is up to luck and fortune.

So, if your flourishing– your happiness, depends on things outside of your control, you will never be truly happy. You've made your well-being hostage to chance. Making our lives dependent on chance means we live lives of perpetual anxiety and fear of losing what we have, resentment when things don't go our way, and grasping for what might never come.

Therefor!– the only path to flourishing, must be grounded in what is under our direct control– our character, our responses, and who we strive to be.

Virtue, then(sometimes called excellence of character), is the only true good in life. Excellence of character is excellence at being what we are best at. To a stoic, the best of people is expressed across the 4 cardinal virtues:

1. Wisdom
2. Courage
3. Justice
4. Moderation

Wisdom is the virtue that informs all others. To be wise is to have good judgment. To be courageous is to do something, even when it scares us. To be just is to be fair, and moderation– sometimes translated as "temperate" or "mindful" means to be attentive and careful in how these virtues, our pursuit of excellence, and things in our control (as well as our vices!), are applied and pursued.

And every moment in life is an opportunity to apply these virtues as best we can. The Promise here isn't numbness. It's freedom—you stop being jerked around by externals.

And yes, I have found this to be a freeing perspective. It is not an easy perspective to maintain– I worry about work, and what people think– I want to be successful, and I want to be liked! But ultimately, I really shouldn't make my happiness depend on those things. I can only try my best to succeed. I can strive to be likable. My efforts, thoughts, and opinions are all under my control– outcomes are not.

This insight is liberating because it means I don't have to be a slave to my impulses. When I am angered, why must I respond angrily? The truth is I don't. It is an impulse, a reaction– but I do have the capacity to train myself in how I respond to this impression.

The impression is valid, of course, but how we express them has an impact on those around us, and a person of excellent character would not express them in a way that isn't pro-social.

Of course, none of this is easy; they're called impulses for a reason. But we can train ourselves to notice them, and when we manage to notice them, change our behavior. Journaling is how Stoics recommend we self-reflect. At the end of the day, sit down and write about your day. But we can also borrow from other philosophies– meditation is highly compatible with Stoic contemplations, for example. This is a good point to pause and point out that Stoics really don't mind borrowing good ideas from other philosophies. They aren't dogmatic; stoics are practical.

Being practical also means you're a big believer in the importance of self-reflection, and Stoics not only practice self-reflection to be persons of greater character, but will often practice difficulty. Abstaining from things you love, to remind yourself that these things are nice but not required. Practicing difficult moments in life– Do you often worry about getting fired and becoming unemployed? Practice. Write out what would actually happen, make it real. If you feel hardcore, practice living on less for one, to see how you do. This not only helps show us how much of our fears are magical thinking (and our worries are not as insurmountable as we perceive them to be) by forcing them to give them shape, but also helps prepare us for difficulties ahead.

My favorite difficulty to practice is acknowledging finitude. Some day, I will die. Some day, my wife will die. There will come a last time, when I do or see someone or something that I love... and most often, I won't know that this is the last time I'm doing that thing, you know? Stoics practice acknowledging this, and we do it because it a.) makes it easier when that moment comes and b.) makes us more appreciative of the thing or person while we have it. I adore my wife, in part, because I know how short our time is together, and it may even be shorter than I suspect (or hope).

Fundamentally, learning about Stoicism, and trying to practice Stoicism, has meaningfully improved the quality of life, and has made me a more tolerable person; maybe even a better man. Though Ryan Holidays book (and later his blog) helped turn me onto the philosophy as a practical solution to apply to my life, and he has undoubtedly done more than anyone to help bring attention to it, It was actually How to be Stoic, that was the first book on stoicism specifically I read cover to cover– and if I piqued your interest, it's a great place to start. If you want primary sources, I really recommend How to be Free, as my favorite translation of Epictetus. Finally, if you want something more grounded in, narrative, and historical context, Rome's Last Citizen, is an absolute unit of a book, but a spectacular biography of Cato the Younger– in my view, the preeminent Stoic, and a major inspiration to me.

I share all this because... Well, having philosophy improves our lives. Everyone should practice it and make it a core part of their life. It doesn't have to be stoicism– or maybe like me, it just starts with stoicism, because yeah; I consider myself a stoic. But like a good practical stoic, I frequently steal good ideas from other schools.

"It is my custom,” as Seneca wrote, “to cross even into the other camp, not as a deserter but as a spy. I meditate (Buddhism). I try to practice non-forcing (Taoism). Start where you like; stoicism is where I did. Because all of this, is to find peace. Flourishing. Eudaimonia. Whatever you want to call it. So let me leave you with this, and yeah, it's cheesy to end with a quote, but simply, Seneca said it best:

True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.
― Seneca