recognizable commitment

Without it, there is no community, no village.

I believe this is the key building block that many people who yearn for community are missing. A village is unlike a DoorDash delivery; it doesn't just appear at our doorstep with a couple of taps and a 20-minute wait.

Yet, I think... Implicitly, many people seem to believe this. Increasingly, we optimize for frictionless transactions while systematically devaluing commitment. We've been trained to expect relationships that appear at our convenience and disappear when no longer needed.

"Where's my community at?!"

The Village Doesn't Come to You

Villages are like gardens; they require patience, time, and a recognizable commitment on our part to build and maintain. The upfront commitment, in particular, can be daunting because building the social and sometimes physical infrastructure can be time-consuming.

Having spent the last few months trying to build stronger ties and develop a network of interconnected villages, I can tell you the commitment is worth making.

The foundation of villages, of community more broadly, I believe, manifests in 4 fundamental interconnected ways:

1. Predictable presence - For the people in your village, you must aim to be physically available and reliably present over time
2. Resource investment - You have to be willing to contribute time, energy, and materials without guaranteed immediate return, and you need to ensure it's the kind of time, energy, and materials the village desires or needs, not always just what you're "willing" to give.
3. Cultural participation - You have to take consistent repeated actions that signal "I am one of you" and "I will still be here tomorrow".
4. Mutual reliance - involves exposing genuine needs and limitations rather than projecting self-sufficiency. Projecting limitless self-sufficiency– that myth of rugged individualism, signals that you do not need a village (it's also a very damaging lie).

Historical village and community formation follow this pattern: people demonstrate they're "sticking around" by building permanent structures, planting crops with future harvests, establishing shared rituals, and creating systems for mutual aid during hardship.

Trust emerges from this demonstrated commitment over time, but cannot precede it. Trust is the fruit, not the seed. The seed is the visible investment that signals "I am committed to our shared future."

The First Builder Takes the Biggest Risk

That said, it's worth noting that the commitment may initially feel unrequited. I think this is normal, especially for Americans (it seems), who view most relationships as exclusively transactional. The first people to invest always take the most considerable risk, but they also catalyze the village into existence. For all intents and purposes, village building is a form of social entrepreneurship.

Second, while you should start small, recognize that there is probably no single "community" as we often idealize it. Instead, as you develop the skill, aim to build a network of villages. This approach will lead to greater resilience and, more importantly, can scale to benefit more people.

That's it. All it takes is recognizable commitment and a willingness to take risks to build something.

What small acts of recognizable commitment have you found effective in building your villages? Where have you seen these four elements at work in your life?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences—hit reply to share, or use the like/dislike buttons to let me know if this framework resonates with you. Building villages is an ongoing experiment we're all conducting together, and sharing our field notes only strengthens our collective efforts.

If this piece clarified something for you, consider sharing it with someone who's also trying to build community. Sometimes, the most valuable contribution we can make to each other's villages is simply a shared understanding of what we're trying to create.

If nothing else, take charge and make it happen.